Every once in a while, I spend way too much time ruminating over my life problems and proceed to become self-loathing and depressed. This is some real pretentious emo-kid stuff if I am being honest with how it may look to an outsider.
Some nights are more serious than others. Within the last couple of years, I've had some real low points. When I say "low" I mean considering the "S" word.
This is the part where someone more normal and less self-aware might post a depressing ambiguous status to Facebook or Twitter in some sick attempt to foster attention and fake sympathy from the internet. I can't say I haven't had the urge to do this myself on occasion. Even though inherently I don't like the idea of gushing to the internet publicly-- I feel like posting something here would be somewhat different.
No one has even read my recent posts so if any one was going to end up reading this, it might be someone (a friend) who could truly help me.
With that here are some statuses from one of those nights -- ie tonight.
"I wonder if it might be better if I wasn't here sometimes. I think about it way too often."
"When one spends all their time concerned about and helping others, one wonders who is concerned and helping one."
"Why is life so freakin' hard?"
"If I actually followed my own advice, I wouldn't feel like this."
Try to have a good night, friends.
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